February 23, 2021
This morning I share my thoughts about my early grief journey.
My heart was not prepared to lose the love of my life. We loved each other deeply and an illness was coming in to separate us.
I can’t imagine the pain Cliff felt knowing he had to leave us behind. I know the pain I felt knowing I had to live life without him.
What helped me was sharing my story. When I started to support other families I was able to share our story. The more I talked about it the easier it became. I now had meaning to our pain. If I helped one person feel less alone or isolated the pain was some how lessened.
The more I shared and supported others I felt a new sense of purpose.
The more I grew within myself on this new journey on my own I began to see the beauty and lessons that our life had taught me.
As the years have passed I am still sharing our story. The difference is I share with love in my heart and not pain. Cliff will always be with me because he is part of my journey. My heart is where I carry all those who have been apart of my life.
I can create new friendships and relationships with the new people that come into my life. I continue my life’s journey knowing I can move in a new direction knowing the wisdom and love that gave me the strength to continue to live my life.
The turning point for me was knowing I didn’t have to forget or say good-bye to our journey and love. All I needed to do was carry it within my heart without the grief.
It didn’t happen over night, it is a process that happened slowly over time. I was able to move forward and start a new life knowing I can carry those I love along with me from a healthy and safe place.