This mornings reflection is on the importance of journaling in my healing journey and now it is apart of who I am.
Journaling was suggested to me by my therapist I was feeling lost and afraid. My life had become so chaotic with so many responsibilities. I was working full time, Cliff needed full care, the kids had their activities, managing our home. Then there were the emotional demands, Cliff was angry with his disease, the kids were struggling in their own ways. Trying to meet their emotional needs, I didn’t have the energy or time to think of myself.
I made a promise to myself to start journaling ten minutes a day. I could spare ten minutes.
Like any new activity there is a learning curve. I first had to learn to sit still for ten minutes. I didn’t know what to write. I am sure it was something negative like, this is ridiculous.
I continued to commit to this daily practice. In time I was finding it easier to let my thoughts just flow onto the page. Not to tell a story just to release. There were days I would start and cry the entire time. I didn’t realize this was my new path to healing.
In time I carried a journal with me everyday. I would journal in the park at lunch, in the car waiting to pick up the kids. I had a lifetime of emotions and feelings to release. Also the fear and anger of losing my best friend, husband.
Journaling was safe no one would see my words unless I shared them. I would burn my journals, a ritual of release and letting go.
There were times I felt it was too painful to journal and I wanted to quit. I could not quit I was committed to my full healing journey. I understand now this is a lifelong journey and here I am eighteen years later still journaling.
Journaling has opened a whole new world to me. I have journaled through my grief, childhood abuse to now live everyday with the amazing gift of my daily conversations with my soul.
Who would think ink and paper could heal a broken soul?