This morning as I was out for my morning walk all covered up to keep warm. My face covered to shield me from the wind. I was so aware that I was viewing the world around me from inside this safe warm place.
As I continued on my walk and I hear the birds and the crunching of the ice below me. I think of the invisible masks I have worn over the years for protection. The mask to hide my childhood abuse, the mask of the perfect student, the perfect wife and mother, the people pleasing.....
I was hiding from myself. The world only knew the parts I was willing to share.
Caregiver burnout and death ripped off my masks and left me broken open and exposed. I could not hide anymore. Would I pick up the pieces and hide behind my masks again or say hello to the little girl and woman that was revealed. I chose to get to know all of me. Work through the trauma, grief and pain to live my life uncovered and present.
Life is so much easier now that I show the world exactly who I am.
The woman I show to the world on the outside is the same woman on the inside.
There are times I feel like retreating and hiding behind a new mask but know I am perfect the way I am.