February 28, 2021
I sit and ponder the word meaning. As I have moved through my grief, loss and trauma I have had to find meaning in my life. If I didn’t find meaning I would be locked in the darkness of grief.
I didn’t set out to find meaning it came to me gradually one day at a time. With every new awareness and step forward on my grief journey I found new meaning.
I over time have come to understand that it isn’t a matter of holding on to the memory of those I have lost so tightly. If I move forward in my life I grow farther away from those I love.
I have come to a place of gratitude to have had the years I had to experience, grow and love those in my life. As time passes I have come to understand that because my loved ones died I will have to forget and let go of them.
The beauty of healing and growth within myself was finding that place in my heart that they will always be.
I honour their memory by sharing my memories and stories, the laughter, tears and beauty within those moments that are shared.
I find a new sense of ease and joy in knowing that I can move on in my life to find meaning and purpose while still carrying the love and memories of those I have lost.
I have a new appreciation of everyday life. I feel it’s beauty in everything I do. As I move through my day the simplest of tasks or my morning coffee are felt with a gratefulness and new meaning because I know I have this moment within this day. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
Although grief and loss has been rocky, dark, unwanted it some how has given me this incredible gift of self-love, gratitude and ability to find meaning within every moment of a new day.
A new day of possibilities and meaning is about to unfold.