March 1, 2021
This morning as I was journaling I was writing about all the transitions in my life. Some transitions were the natural progression of growing and entering different stages in my life. Other transitions were sudden, unexpected and not welcomed.
I didn’t really pay attention to life’s transitions it was just part of life. Early transitions youth, teenager, married, career, mother. Within these transitions was fear, growth, disappointment and change.
Death and grief came unwanted and I was not prepared for the intensity of this transition. My ability to journal through this transition was my greatest gift. The pain and loss was so deep I physically felt in my body. The thoughts of if I allow the emotion out can I handle it’s release. My fear trying to keep my emotion locked within me. I knew how it felt within my body and did not want to carry it. I started to journal and release.
I found the people in my life that could let me cry, release and just be there for me. I was coming to realize this was my personal journey and most of the work was within me.
As I released the emotion and journaled I found I had more awareness on what thoughts and old patterns had played in my life. I started to see life more fully.
I found that supporting others going through ALS gave me a sense of purpose to my personal journey. I didn’t understand that by giving to others helped me move through my grief. The joy I felt knowing that I was making a difference in someone else’s life.
I found I was making changes in my life because I felt different, sold my house, change my job, started running.
As all this is happening without even being aware I was transitioning through my grief. I am now aware I can talk about Cliff without crying, I can laugh about the crazy things that happened. He is still with me.
When I realized that he is a part of who I am. I will never lose him my life really started to transition. I didn’t allow fear to stop me from experiencing life.
Through every transition there is fear, growth and accomplishment. I journal everyday and this allows me to be truly present in my life. To work through my struggles and also to celebrate my accomplishments.
Transition is part of life.